Anyhoo, just thought I'd blog for a second as a mental break. My big news is that I had a weird moment of clarity last night around 3am. I was going back and forth studying for organic chemistry and ecology when out of nowhere it hit me. I'm that person who ends up being the doormat to 90% of the people I come in to contact with. Sometimes it's completely innocent unintentional thing too. I'm the type of person who's quick to forgive, likes to see the best in people and I tend to analyze and reason so much that I somehow find a way to reach my own personal homeostasis in every situation, no matter how ridiculous.
This probably seems like my blog is taking a turn for dark, emo, bitterfest; population me. Right? Well no worries. I'm on the other side of the spectrum.
It's not that I'm overly upset about that realization or I plan on going on some crazy girl power trip. I just feel like it's an opportunity for me to reevaluate how I approach situations and maybe invest in a little wake up call for next time. I feel like I need to stop taking blows and settling when I deserve to be treated just as well as anyone else. It's time for me to stand up for myself a bit more and learn to move on from bad situations. The truth is no matter how I handle my life, I can't control others' actions. If I've done what I can and it's starting to look like I'm beating a very very dead horse, it's OK to move on with life and take care of me, first and foremost. So that's the plan. No more doormat Caity. I'm not going to put myself in positions that are clearly a slippery slope to me being left high and dry wondering how I could've done more.
Sometimes you just need to come to terms with the fact that shit happens. Life's too short. I'm lucky, I have a great family, awesome friends, and hopefully, a bright future. So why waste my time crying over spilt milk? Time to clean up and move on with life.
What better way to start off than spend the weekend with two of the greatest friends I've ever had.
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